


Throw Emotion to the Wind; Soonhoon

by kwanies



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Confessions, M/M, but i kind of got the urge to write something with this feeling so. here we are, hhhh its also incredibly short lmao im sorry, idk this is kind of bad im gonna be honest, if you read this i love you that's the prize, soonyoung's got a crush on jihoon its cute, they lay in the grass together and talk thats the feeling, this feeling being ???????????? i dont even know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 14:21:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwanies/pseuds/kwanies
Summary: – Soonyoung’s slipping, turning wispy like the clouds and just barely there. The sky stretches on for forever, an eternity in itself; he thinks he could count the miles against it and they still wouldn’t add up to how far gone he is.





	Throw Emotion to the Wind; Soonhoon

 

> _And for all the pretty mouths_
> 
> _And pretty words that turn me out_
> 
> _I just end up at your house_
> 
> _20,000 leagues beneath the ocean_

 

Soonyoung feels soft. The sky is stuck in that pretty sort of orange-pink transition, that one where everything’s bathed gentle and the clouds go cream colored; summertime leaves warm kisses on his cheeks, she breathes against his arms and speaks kind things into the dip of his collarbones. The world feels dreamy.

He reaches out to touch the air and almost expects his sight to wobble, like he’s looking into a mirage, but it doesn’t. The sunset in his eyes, lungs full of cotton. His heart spilled out onto the driveway. It’s all real. His reflection blinks back at him from the window, and he flinches at the sound of the doorbell ringing when he presses the button. This is real.

Jihoon answers with sleepy eyes, a yawn that stretches into a lazy sort of smile once he sees Soonyoung. “Hey,” he says. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Yeah, sorry. I probably should’ve texted.”

“No, no, it’s all good. You wanna come in?”

Soonyoung inhales softly, the air between his lips like chapstick. Vanilla, actually, because he likes the taste of it and Jihoon says he thinks the shimmer on the packaging is pretty.

“Do you wanna come out, instead?” His pulse stutters. “We could stay by the lake, or walk down to the supermarket. I wouldn’t even mind laying out here on the pavement, to be honest.” Jihoon just stares at him, and he adds, “The weather’s really nice.”

Jihoon ties his laces and tells his mom he’ll be late to dinner, and they end up making their way over to some field by the water, spreading themselves out on the grass and looking up. At least, Soonyoung looks up. He thinks he can feel Jihoon’s gaze against the side of his face.

“What did you want to bring me out for?” he asks.

“I told you. The weather’s nice.”

“No, but tell me honestly.”

The clouds don’t seem to be holding any shape. Soonyoung sighs. “I just wanted to see you,” he says. “But being inside makes me feel like I’m choking on styrofoam, so.”

“Okay, I get that.” Jihoon pauses. “I like seeing you, anyway.”

Soonyoung’s been trying to keep his distance, actually, but it’s Jihoon who says things like this and it’s Jihoon who makes it terribly difficult to do so. Jihoon’s got pretty eyes and a pretty mouth and Soonyoung never used to want to kiss them so bad, but lately he has, and he thinks that’s why he keeps doing this.

 _I like seeing you, anyway_.

“How do you mean?”

“How do I mean?”

“Yeah, like. How do you like seeing me.”

Jihoon seems to think about this, turning his eyes over to the grass between them. He pulls at it, tugging up dirt and dandelions before his fingers freeze and he says, “Just like this, unadulterated. I like your eyes when you aren’t forcing them open. I like your smile when it’s real. I like that you don’t bother bringing all the fake stuff with you when we’re alone.”

“I’m not fake,” he mumbles, and Jihoon snorts.

“We all are, to some extent.”

“Even you?”

“Oh, especially me. Not with you, though,” he adds. “Never with you.”

Soonyoung wants to ask why, but he can’t seem to get the words out. His thoughts spill over and muffle any chance of speech, and he’s too busy sorting through them to say anything. It doesn’t seem to matter, anyway. Jihoon gives up the answer unprompted.

“I’m comfortable with you, yeah? I can be myself entirely and you’ll still stick around. That’s one of my favorite feelings.”

Jihoon likes him more without the filters. Jihoon likes him the way he is at his core. Jihoon likes him.

“What are some of your other favorite feelings?”

Jihoon hums, “I dunno. Soft things, warm things? Like my bed and all my blankets, or that one stray cat that keeps wandering into my backyard. I like - I like going downstairs to open the front door, and seeing you on the other side. I like how that makes me feel.”

Soonyoung’s slipping, turning wispy like the clouds and just barely there. The sky stretches on for forever, an eternity in itself; he thinks he could count the miles against it and they still wouldn’t add up to how far gone he is.

“Do you ever lie?” Jihoon asks, and his voice is no louder than a breath.

“I think we all lie.”

“Would you lie to me?”

Soonyoung pretends to think, but he doesn’t really. He knows the answer like instinct.

“No, never.”

Silence unfolds itself, neither one of them saying anything, and Soonyoung gets to thinking about how he’s never felt this way before. He’s been trying to keep himself stable for months now, flat on his feet with nowhere to go, but something’s pushing at him and it’s pushing hard. It’s only a matter of time until he falls over completely.

A matter of time, more like two seconds.

Jihoon asks, “Are you in love?”

“Am I in love?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Soonyoung finally focuses in on the boy beside him, goosebumps spreading when he meets his eyes.

Is he in love?

The grass feels soft and dewy against his skin. The air tastes peachy, everything around them swathed in a sweet-pink light that makes it hard to not focus on his own heartbeat. It’s out of control. It’s racing. Jihoon’s fingers are earth-stained and brushing the back of Soonyoung’s hand.

Soonyoung’s told lies, but he’s never lied to Jihoon. The moment feels critical. Soonyoung doesn’t know how to lie right now. Soonyoung doesn’t know how to say he’s not in love.

“I think I am,” he says, and he’s whispering. Jihoon nods. He looks lovely, he looks like he’s glowing; cheeks misted rose, glistening, eyes shining. Soonyoung’s heart lurches. To _think_ he’d been trying to keep his distance.

“I think I am, too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: 04ngel  
> twitter: cheniuvrs


End file.
